Not to belabor the point, but an example of using the ego in a positive manner would be having it serve as a motivational catalyst. Not just your ego getting triggered and motivating you to perform but instead, having someone else’s Ego motivate you. Confused? Well let me explain with an example from my personal history.
In 1994, I graduated form college in upstate NY and moved to Chicago where I started a career as a trader at the Chicago Mercantile Exchange then later at the Chicago Board of Trade.
After a few years and the relapse of a herniated disc in my lower back (L5 S1/2), I left the world of finance to purse a career in Sport Psychology and become a baseball coach.
In my eager (and desperate) search to learn about the field of Sport Psychology, I came across the name of a highly respected consultant in the field. He was the past president of the sport psychology association and he happened to live in Chicago. I researched his office address, went there, knocked on the door and introduced myself. Told him I was looking to learn anything I could about the field and would be honored to be an intern for him or just have the opportunity to learn from him whenever possible.
His response was remarkable. He told me I could not afford his time and that based on my GPA from college, it was clear, I was not smart enough to go into the field anyway so I should think about another career to pursue.
Shocked, hurt, angered, and disappointed, I smiled, thanked him for his time and I left.
It took me 15 minutes to walk back to my apartment. By the time I reached my room, I had decided that I would make a monumental impact on the field of sport psychology. I had no idea how; but I knew I would do it or fail trying.
His Ego-focused behavior towards me, became my motivation to go from good to great.
That was over 15 years ago. I have not seen him since that day. It took me years to get over being mad, hurt, insulted by his callousness. This was a guy I did not even know and it inspired me to throw caution and fear aside and push myself to achieve greatness…imagine the impact it may have had if it was a parent or friend who said this to me.
Sad to admit that his tremendous Ego and need to shove it in my face was what jump started my passion. I am proud to say, that once I got over the emotions of being mad and hurt, I was able to focus on my own reasons for achieving greatness as a peak performance coach.
I don’t for one second think I am unique in having this type of story in my history. In fact, I am willing to bet I am anything BUT unique in that respect. I bet many of you have a peer or teacher or parent who did a similar thing to you somewhere along the way.
Interestingly, some people have this experience and crawl into a shell thinking,
“maybe that person is right. Maybe I am too stupid.”
While others, take the alternate perspective and say,
“Screw that. Who are they to think that of me. I will show them how wrong they really are.”
I can’t tell you why I went the way of the latter rather than the former; but I can tell you it was a conscious choice I made and it clearly put me on the path I am today.
His Ego became my motivation.
I am not angry, or hurt or mad at him. Quit the contrary. I am grateful and thankful to him for being the person he was because it inspired me to become the peak performance coach I am today.
True story – and no, I am not going to divulge his name. His name is irrelevant but the gift he unknowingly gave me is priceless.
Dr Doug
enjoyed your take on the economic situation on cnbc today, you rocked Mark’s world, haha