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Posts Tagged ‘focusing’

Self Coaching - Take Control and Change

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

I am human like the rest of you. I make mistakes and like many of you I beat myself up about it afterwards. I made a substantial one yesterday and am still replaying it in my mind. It distracts me. Takes away from my focus to do more work but more importantly, it consumes my thoughts and tarnishes the precious time I get to spend with my family on the weekend.

 

Today is my son’s 4th birthday party. I am going to break my own destructive behavior pattern before he wakes up so I can be fully focused and present to enjoy what is really and truly important in life. My family.

 

Have you made a business, personal or investment decision recently that you regret? Are you beating yourself up about it? Has it been more than a few hours since you did it? I just did it too and here is what I am doing to get myself out of this funk.

 

Dr. Doug’s Self Coaching Process

I am thinking back through the details to figure out what triggered inside of me and gave me a clue that I was about to do something I would regret later - I have, unfortunately, done this before so I know exactly what the trigger feels like.

 

  • It is when I get in a frame of mind that I have to do things very quickly and urgently.
  • I feel overwhelmed and try to do too much, too fast.
  • I get a tight feeling in my chest and my shoulders start to shrug.
  • I end up getting to all the things but do not end up being as careful about my decisions. while making them. 

 

  • End result is the benefits I get from doing all the work or phone call or email contacts is far less than the damage I do because I get emotional or lose control of the process on just one of them.

 

Solutions - What I am doing to solve this for the future.

  • Next time I feel this emotional, overwhelming feeling come over me, I am going to force myself to take a 5-10 minute break and walk around outside.
  • If when I get back, I am still feeling the sense of urgency, I am going to reach out to my trusted confident to discuss the situation, my thoughts and potential actions.
  • I am then going to type up the situation in my self-improvement log, what the situation was, what I did right, what I did wrong and what I am going to do different next time.

 

I am tired of repeating the same mistake and will modify my behavior so that I can take my game to the next level.

 

Dr Doug coaching Dr Doug

This is What I do; But This is Who I am

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

About five years ago, I was riding the long island rail road during the summer at rush hour.
Nothing much in this world is more miserable than that if you have ever been on that train. Loud, crowded, hot, and did I mention crowded?

No one is talking let along smiling. Then I hear this voice. Laughing, making jokes, chatting with people. I peek across the aisle and see the train conductor smiling, talking to people, playing with the kids on the train. And it seemed that the less people wanted to smile or talk, the more this guy amped up his energy level. He really was not put off by the attitudes of the passengers. He was doing his thing and smiling every step of the way.

A few minutes passed and he come to collect my ticket. I asked him what it was that allowed him to be so joyful on such a miserable, hot and crowded train ride. After all, this was the only train ride I was taking that day, but it was his full time job and he probably had spent 8 plus hours on this route today and every day this month.

He said to me three things that have forever been branded into my mind.
1) What is there not to be happy about, I am getting paid to play on the biggest train set in the world.
2) He then pointed to the numbers on his hat and said, “This is what I do.”
3) He then took off his hat and showed me a picture of his three children and said “..but this is who I am.”

It took me years to fully appreciate what he meant and five years later, I am still working on it. I am grateful to him for sharing this lesson with me.

I think the biggest lessons we can all learn from this are that we always have the ability to choose our attitude and to keep things in perspective no matter what the circumstances.

Dr Doug